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Writer's pictureDebbs Murray

Family Violence Messages in a Minute: The Brutality of Non-Physical Violence



I am still recovering from the pain of non-physical violence—the name-calling, put-downs, stopping me from being myself, interfering with my parenting, and controlling aspects of my life like food, clothes, and makeup. All of this happened behind closed doors.


Yet, there were measurable changes in my behaviour towards the outside world. I stopped wearing makeup after ALWAYS having worn it. I distanced myself from family, lost friends, and picked fights with family to keep them at arm's length.


Much of coercive control and family violence is unseen, but if we know the indicators, we can respond much more effectively.


So please, never devalue the impact of non-physical violence. I still navigate the wounds that sit upon my heart and soul every day, especially regarding my self-esteem. I have no doubt that I will never fully heal from these unseen wounds, but my life is still good anyway. I am now free to be myself, even though I carry these wounds.


Physical Violence includes:

  • Physical Abuse

  • Sexual Abuse

  • Animal Abuse

  • Chemical Coercion


Non-Physical Violence includes:

  • Psychological/Emotional Abuse

  • Harassment

  • Technological Violations

  • Threats

  • Financial Abuse

  • Deprivation

  • Exploitation

  • Stalking

  • Using Children

  • Degradation

  • Gaslighting

  • Intimidation

  • Isolation, etc.


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