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Family Violence - Messages in a Minute - Coercive Control Tactics

Again, I use the terminology that I am passionate, and I am. I created my own Aotearoa New Zealand Family Violence Lived Experience Informed Concepts that are now being replicated across Aotearoa and are just beginning to gain some attention internationally. Because I wanted to be able to create a visual representation of what family violence actually feels like, and I achieved that with a number of concepts, but I will talk in this video about the Practitioner-Victim Insight Concept (PVIC) ©. PVIC is not for practitioners or victims as you may think from, it simply the insights that I gathered having walked in both worlds.

In particular the Coercive Control Equation, which represents the belief that if a predominant aggressor is cognitively able to process and make decisions then there is a level of calculation ad manipulation in the perpetrated acts of coercive control. And when the concept of Coercive as an overarching family violence tactic is recognised, they we recognise that coercive control exists in every act, behaviour, form of harm, abuse and violence.

The coercive Control Equation is: ACTION + REACTION/RESPONSE = REWARD

The predominant aggressor perpetrates an ACTION of family violence because they know they will get a specific REACTION/RESPONSE from the primary victim, and that results in the predominant aggressor gaining REWARD.

This is normally a form of abuse to gain the active submission and active compliance of the primary victim. Such as accusing a primary victim of being unfaithful (ACTION) if they don’t want to engage in sexual activity. The primary victim wants to prove to the predominant aggressor that they are not being unfaithful (REACTION/RESPONSE), and so often actively submit (REWARD) in order to avoid an escalation in violence and risk. The predominant aggressor then has a sense of having gained CONTROL, of having got what they wanted, of having won.

Dynamics of family violence can be physical and non-physical violence:

  • Physical Abuse

  • Sexual Abuse

  • Chemical Coercion

  • Psychological /Emotional Abuse

  • Harassment

  • Technological violations

  • Animal Abuse

  • Threats

  • Financial

  • Deprivation

  • Exploitation

  • Stalking

  • Using Children

  • Degradation

  • Gaslighting

  • Intimidation

  • Isolation etc

Sometimes I wonder if the reason that we as a society, and as communities do not respond when we see these forms of abuse, actions occurring is because on some level we have normalised this kind of behaviour. But it is not ok, it is never ok, and if you can do so safely, please please, please, but the voice of someone who does not have one.

Debbs Murrays “Family Violence - Messages in a Minute” - #ImMeImFree

Please note that all ECLIPSE content, resource and concept is copywritten to ECLIPSE Family Violence Services, and cannot be replicated without permission. Please contact to discuss

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